igotlaidoffinseattle

I was thinking yesterday about my last day at my job and I had thought back then that those days would drag on forever – not just because the weather was cold and grey either! I had no idea how much losing your job affects everything and now that I know, and have been through it, I think I have a better attitude about most everything including my next job.

My next job will likely be just a job. I mean of course I am expecting opportunity and money and something that is challenging and engaging but really I hope I don’t get as stuck believing that that job, whatever it is, is the most important thing I’ve got going on. I think that over the last few years, I had become lazy about a lot of things and over the last seven weeks I have really reconnected with myself in a way I had forgotten about. I now love spending time alone which I had completely forgotten how to do and I have fun with it. I hope I am being a better friend that I think I’ve been in the recent past. And the humility of it all, the applying for a LOT of jobs and hearing nothing, and dealing with the weird and fleeting feelings of insecurity and really working to build my sense of self-worth without a job reminded me that you have to work hard – at all of it. Keeping your friendships, being the funnest aunt to your nieces and nephews, being a positive person and all of it takes effort. Maybe that’s what we should be spending the lion’s share of our heart’s passions doing. Of course you give your work your all. It’s fun to have a job you are encouraged and challenged by where your coworkers and environment are engaging. But it’s just part of it. The friends, the family, and really most of all you is what it’s really about. You don’t get any of your time back later if you don’t spend it well. There is no rebate on life if you don’t use it wisely. It’s a privileged viewpoint I know and it comes from being indulged by the people that I love and who love me but it is how I see things now and really want to remember to see them from here on out.